This string I'm in is fixated on a path called "care-free."
Not only have I never been on any sort of path that included those two words in succession, but I doubt I've ever even been as much as acquainted with the concept of being worry-less. If I have, it was fleeting. And if it was fleeting, it was still bland enough to rot away with the rest of my whatevers.
But I am in motion on this path, now. Today. Please excuse the unavoidable veers into the shallow waters of motivational speech. That is not my specialty and is not typical of my character, so I worry these buzzwords come out, contorting my mouth into unnatural ways and perhaps giving me wrinkles.
It is 9 in the morning and I haven't slept since yesterday evening. My sleeping behaviors could get in a ring with my addictive behaviors and potentially come out victorious. Though it would be close.
But here is where my voice gets a bit dodgy and my spirit comes through unedited. I warned you.
That ends today. That ends now. I have wasted my life in many of the same ways and capacities that I have valued and cherished it. Had a rather sensible, albeit half-baked epiphany this morning and came to a couple rather sudden conclusions. That was one of them.
Another was the realization that whether or not I care what people think of me in any given situation is entirely dependent on how I feel about that situation myself, which is fortunate. What is not so fortunate is that I often feel rather self-consciously and negatively about myself in any given situation.
So that ends today as well.
I think I have to cut this off pretty quickly here and turn The Office back on while I drink coffee and ready for the day, lest I get far too cheesy and optimistic and seemingly success driven.
I want to live a more colorful life. Full of more things I love and care about. That's the jist of it.
The rattling on about who knows what, stream of consciousness kind of thing isn't due to the fact that I've been awake most of a day. It is always like that, oh well.
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Not only have I never been on any sort of path that included those two words in succession, but I doubt I've ever even been as much as acquainted with the concept of being worry-less. If I have, it was fleeting. And if it was fleeting, it was still bland enough to rot away with the rest of my whatevers.
But I am in motion on this path, now. Today. Please excuse the unavoidable veers into the shallow waters of motivational speech. That is not my specialty and is not typical of my character, so I worry these buzzwords come out, contorting my mouth into unnatural ways and perhaps giving me wrinkles.
It is 9 in the morning and I haven't slept since yesterday evening. My sleeping behaviors could get in a ring with my addictive behaviors and potentially come out victorious. Though it would be close.
But here is where my voice gets a bit dodgy and my spirit comes through unedited. I warned you.
That ends today. That ends now. I have wasted my life in many of the same ways and capacities that I have valued and cherished it. Had a rather sensible, albeit half-baked epiphany this morning and came to a couple rather sudden conclusions. That was one of them.
Another was the realization that whether or not I care what people think of me in any given situation is entirely dependent on how I feel about that situation myself, which is fortunate. What is not so fortunate is that I often feel rather self-consciously and negatively about myself in any given situation.
So that ends today as well.
I think I have to cut this off pretty quickly here and turn The Office back on while I drink coffee and ready for the day, lest I get far too cheesy and optimistic and seemingly success driven.
I want to live a more colorful life. Full of more things I love and care about. That's the jist of it.
The rattling on about who knows what, stream of consciousness kind of thing isn't due to the fact that I've been awake most of a day. It is always like that, oh well.
